tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
