woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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