why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
