I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
