would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
