I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
