very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
