i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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