Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
