His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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