He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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