well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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