GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize