We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
