It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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