so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
