The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
sex in a hospital.. check
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
