White coat. Heels.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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