You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
