Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
