So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
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I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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