I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
