Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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