so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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