You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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