vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
