First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize