like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just gift wrapped bread.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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