Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
