return my video game
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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