it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize