giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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