he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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