When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
