"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
