I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
