yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
