i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
