I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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