I bet he comes in French.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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