She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
