You're my little dorito
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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