Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize