I hate your face
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
