what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
