Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
