do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
