I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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