Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
