so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
