and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
