he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
