Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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