what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
