You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
