guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
