I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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