I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
