Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
